Need a good laugh? Chances are your students do too! After you’ve been working so hard together, you deserve a break. We’ve put together this list of funny dad jokes for kids that you can share in your classroom whenever you need it. Warning: These dad jokes for kids jokes are really cheesy!
Best Dad Jokes for Kids
1. Where do young trees go to learn?
Elementree school.
2. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
3. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
The space bar.
4. When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
5. Why shouldn’t you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
6. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on many levels.
7. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
8. Which state has the most streets?
Rhode Island.
9. Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
10. If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?
An iWitness.
11. Why are piggy banks so wise?
They’re filled with common cents.
12. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.
13. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark.
14. What do you call a hot dog on wheels?
Fast food!
15. Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents.
16. Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind—it’s tearable.
17. Can February March?
No, but April May!
18. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
19. What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
20. Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
21. What’s a robot’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.
22. Mountains aren’t just funny …
They’re hill areas.
23. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
24. What’s the best-smelling insect?
A deodor-ant.
25. Did you know corduroy pillows are in style?
They’re making headlines.
26. Have you ever tried to catch fog?
I tried yesterday but I mist.
27. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
28. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
29. How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
30. What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
31. Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pear-is.
32. What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.
33. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
34. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
35. Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it!
36. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
37. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
38. What kind of car does an egg drive?
A Yolkswagen.
39. Why did the drum go to bed?
It was beat.
40. What did one plate say to another plate?
Dinner’s on me tonight.
41. Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles?
He got over it.
42. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14-carrot gold.
43. What does a librarian use to go fishing?
A bookworm.
44. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
45. Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar?
He ordered everyone around.
46. What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips.
47. Why did the girl toss a clock out the window?
She wanted to see time fly.
48. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
49. Why can’t the sailor learn the alphabet?
Because he keeps getting lost at C.
50. The past, present, and future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
51. How do celebrities keep cool?
They have many fans.
52. What do pigs use to clean up?
Hogwash.
53. How do mice floss their teeth?
With string cheese.
54. Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn’t put it down.
55. How can you tell when a comic passes gas?
Something smells funny.
56. What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
57. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn’t too bad either.
58. What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
59. What did the earthquake say when it was done?
Sorry, my fault!
60. Why did the roofer go to the doctor?
He had shingles.
61. Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink?
He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.
62. When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.
63. What sits on the seabed and has anxiety?
A nervous wreck.
64. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
65. Where do armies belong?
In your sleevies.
66. How do you cook an alligator?
In a Croc-Pot.
67. Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
68. What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich?
Millionaire.
69. Have you ever had a bad sausage?
It’s the wurst.
70. What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock-roach.
71. Why did the computer catch a cold?
It left a window open.
72. Did you hear about the broken guitar that’s for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
73. What should you do to prevent dry skin?
Use a towel.
74. How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste.
75. Why did the whale blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
76. Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
77. I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but …
I couldn’t find them.
78. What kind of music scares balloons?
Pop music.
79. What did the Dalmatian say after dinner?
That hit the spot.
80. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
81. Did you hear about the cold dinner?
It was chili.
82. How do frogs invest their money?
They use a stock croaker.
83. Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
84. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play.
85. How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
86. A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
87. Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist?
He needed to get crowns.
88. Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus?
He wanted to go to high school.
89. Did you hear about the woman who couldn’t stop collecting magazines?
She had issues.
90. Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
91. Why did the orange stop halfway across the road?
It ran out of juice.
92. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
93. What do you give the Dentist of the Year?
A little plaque.
94. What should you do if you meet a giant?
Use big words.
95. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
96. Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools.
97. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Just in case he got a hole in one.
98. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
It was outstanding in its field.
99. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
It lost its filling.
100. How do you stop a bull from charging?